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 I think there is a common misconception that stay at home
moms have all the time in the world to do whatever they want. I too even had
that feeling before I became one. In fact when I was pregnant I knew I told
people I was so looking forward to having time to catch up on the Soaps that I
had long been missing. Boy was I wrong! My son Micah is now 10 months old and up
until this week my husband also viewed my life as such. He would often voice
concern for why the laundry didn't always get done, or why I wasn't able to
vacuum. Don't get me wrong, I have a great husband and this week he finally sat
down with me and genuinely tried to understand what I deal with on any given
day.
He, like me had no idea how much of your life and time
revolve around your child's schedule. Over and over again I have read how much children
depend on their routine, how it brings them security and helps them understand
boundaries. I can definitely see that in Micah's life. Just today, I rescheduled
a lunch date when I realized it would make it so he would miss his naptime. I
knew he couldn't handle not having his regular 2-3 hour afternoon nap, and to
be honest I don't think I could've handled it either no matter how much I was
looking forward to seeing my friend and having some adult conversation.
He didn't realize that the entire time Micah is awake my
focus is him. Granted this wasn't always the case, before he was mobile I could
easily plunk him down and he would entertain himself giving me the opportunity
to pick up the kitchen or start dinner. But now, he is into everything! So, I
am constantly following behind him or trying to redirect his attention, getting
nothing done in those hours. By the time naptime comes, I have to be careful
not to be too loud, which means no vacuum or clunking dishes, and quite frankly
I have no desire to do anything because I'm so pooped from entertaining for the
past 3 hours. Then he wakes up and the process starts all over again. We also
talked about the fact that not having that 2-way adult conversation really
takes a lot of energy as well. Children learn how to communicate through you,
so I am constantly talking to Micah about his toys and their colors and sounds
and the sounds animals make, and how to do this and how to that and so on and
so on………you can see how it would get exhausting!
Another thing that I had to remind him of is that this isn't
a typical Mon-Fri, 8a-5p work schedule either. Yes it is easier he is home, or
when we have a sitter, but being a stay at home mom is 24/7 and even during
those times when you get a break, your still thinking about your child and
wondering if he's ok. Also one thing my husband said was, yeah but you can take
him places and go do stuff you want to do. What he didn't realize was that most
of our running around consists of errands that are necessary to keep our home
in order, whether it be grocery shopping or getting supplies for whatever. Yes,
every once in awhile we'll go on a personal shopping trip but then I usually
get stressed because Micah is trying to eat all of the tags off of everything so
it's no fun anyway.
I think my husband respects me a lot more now that I have
laid out a sample day for him. So I think all of you stay at home moms out
there, if you haven't already, should sit down with your husband's and really
talk to them about what you go through on a daily basis; because I guarantee,
even if it's not voiced, they probably have at least a little of the same
misconception of how your days really are. And I can promise you one thing, if
anyone ever asks me what I do; I will never say "I' m just a stay at home mom."
My official title is: CEO and COO of the Bryson Group!
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