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Film & Television -
Movie Reviews
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Written by Ford S.
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Featuring a new director, new leading lady and a new continent, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor may
not be picking up where the old films left off, but it still attempts
to maintain their camp and lighthearted air. This is not the type of
blockbuster that begs analysis or prompts consideration of political
and social issues, which for some might be a welcome breath of fresh
escapist air after the brooding themes presented in The Dark Knight.
But
even with the modest goal of being just a breezy summer action flick,
the film never quite satisfies. It begins with an overlong narration
that gives us the origin story of China’s dragon emperor. It feels
longer than Cate Blanchett’s introductory monologue in The Fellowship of the Ring,
and for good reason. To summarize: power hungry ruler conquers China to
become emperor, learns magical arts, throws enemies under the Great
Wall, realizes he needs immortality, sends general to find witch
reputed to know the secret of immortality (who in turn falls in love
with his general), a bit more needless exposition, she curses him and
his army, he kills her lover and stabs her, and he turns into a terra
cotta Mummy. After all that we are finally introduced to our hero,
Brendan Fraser whose first line is “You can run…” wait for some bit of
inspiration, “but you can’t hide.” Sigh.
Fraser’s
Rick O’Connell and his wife Evelyn are now retired from their
mummy-hunting exploits, and they are becoming bored with their opulent
security. Meanwhile, their estranged son Alex has discovered the tomb
of the fabled Dragon Emperor, and you know in these films that if the
Mummy is discovered it is only a matter of time before he is awakened.
Rick and Evelyn are coaxed into delivering an ancient jewel to China,
which happens to be the one thing capable of awakening the emperor. So
parents and son are on the road to being reunited, and we are on the
way to more Mummy adventure.
Luke
Ford never quite finds the right note to hit for the role of Alex,
making you appreciate Shia Labeouf all the more as Mutt in this
summer’s Indiana Jones offering. And unfortunately, Maria Bello fares
little better attempting to take the reigns from Rachel Weiss. Bello’s
Evelyn is brazen and silly, never quite achieving the fun Weiss brought
to the role. John Hannah returns as Rick‘s brother who has taken up
shop in China with a Mummy-themed nightclub (i.e., excuse to show
gold-painted “Egyptian” showgirls). Of all the actors, he dives into
his role best, taking on a hyper-goofy take on the bumbling Marcus
Brody character from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. And
then there’s Fraser. He looks like he is having fun and fits in to the
role the same as before, but his is all the same old shtick that just
does not quite connect.
The
blame resides more with the writers and directors, though, for giving
us a film that looks even more derivative than Prince Caspian. Looking
for Return of the King? Well, we have an army of the undead who, upon
successfully vanquishing their foes, dissipate into the air. What about
Hero? We have the umpteenth rip off of the famous arrows blanketing the
sky shot, and a crew of assassins set to kill the emperor during the
introduction. The Last Crusade? Not only do we have the son cradling
his father who is mortally wounded by the antagonist, but we also get
the pouring of immortal water on the wound.
But
it is probably the dialogue that will earn a Razzy for the film. There
is one effective bit between father and son in which they debate the
virtues of their favorite guns, which not only works as a successful
double-entendre, but is the best bit of subtext to describe their
troubled relationship and generation gap. The rest of the time it is
always on the nose: “I’ve been a bad dad,” and “I’ve been a bad son.”
It makes Hallmark cards look like Pulitzer candidates.
To
make matters worse, the Dragon Emperor is neither very scary nor
interesting. He turns into a big CG dragon, sure, but later he
transforms into a creature that has best been described as a glorified
furby (thanks Joe). In the first film at least, Imhotep had that
menacing T-rex growl and ate scarab beetles, but Jet Li and his
shape-shifting fire-breather is outright bland.
At
the film’s end, Rick’s brother drives away from his club vowing to go
somewhere where there are no Mummies, so he picks Peru. Then a title
flashes on the screen alerting us that a mummy has been found in Peru.
Aside from being a cheap way to set up another sequel, it betrays the
film’s basic problem: an unwillingness to find a creative way to tell
its story. So if Mummy-hunting is your idea of a good time, be warned
that aside from a few yetis and a yacking yak, you are not going to see
much new here, or even all that exciting.
Rated PG-13 for adventure action and violence.
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